I'm home in Memphis. I have Air-Conditioning. I have clean water. It's weird. I'm glad to be home, but I miss Kenya so much. God did so much in my life the past almost two months. So take a few minutes and read what God did as I travelled around with a mission team my last week there. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers all this time. God moved mightily and continues to move in this great country/continent.
Monday (Kitale)
My heart hurts. The tears flowed freely tonight as my insides were breaking. At the end of devotion time, Hellen got up and prayed. There is no way I can describe this prayer. The ferventness, the realness, the belief. The Spirit of the Lord came down and was with us. I literally had to turn around and hold my nose to keep from losing it completely. Then she asked me to speak. I had to take about 60 seconds to pull myself together. I poured out my heart to them. And then it was time to say goodbye. The tears returned as I hugged Delmas, Susan, Reuben, Cynthia, and so many, many more I’ve grown so close to. And until we hit the main road (about ten minutes), I silently cried. And as we hit the main road, I looked up and saw the stars. The heavens declare God’s glory. He planned the universe in utter detail. The stars were a visual representation of Him being with me in that moment. He held me when I couldn’t hold myself. He carried me. It was one of the hardest things ever to say goodbye to these friends I’ve grown to love with all my heart. But He helped me. Why? Because He is good. He cares for His own.
Wednesday (Eldoret)
Today we visited the Kamkunji slum. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Most were very small mud houses the size of a normal bathroom with a mattress on the dirt ground. Completely dark. And I can’t even describe the smells. I have never seen so much trash before. Half naked kids. No shoes. And this is safer and more developed than Kipsongo, where my buddies are from. How do I deal with this? How do I continue to live with this in mind? How? But God is moving. Let me tell you the story of Richard. Richard has bad epilepsy, and one time, he had a spell and fell into fire burning himself. I saw his burnt flesh. His scars. My eyes have never seen anything like it. It reminded me of a kid in Kitale. I noticed this kid would keep one hand out of my sight. But at one point, I still saw it. It had been infested with jiggers. They had eaten away all his fingernails and parts of his fingers. It was absolutely unbelievable. Richard’s burnt flesh was hard to bear, but then later we heard the full story. That for a long time, because of his injuries, he could hardly walk. It would cause too much pain if he stood straight. But today, he held onto my hand as hard as he could as we walked normally. God has healed this boy. And is continuing to heal him. He would not let go of my hand. I’ve never had anyone hold on so tightly. This kid is an outstanding example of God’s work. When we don’t realize it, He is still there. When He seems the farthest away, it is then that He is right there. And He is a God of change. Everywhere I go, I see pain and sorrow, but so much more, I see and hear stories of change and grace. People are not the same and that can only be ascribed to Him.
Thursday (Kisii)
A kid in a yellow shirt came and sat next to me. “What is your name?” “Sahmwell.” “Mine is Anton.” As the conversation went on, he asked me about my family and my parents. I pointed to my mom and dad. Then he said, “My mom and dad are both dead, so I have no parents.” My heart broke. This kid is in Class 4 and already taking care of himself. But he is so happy and smart. He is going to church for help and learning every Sunday. And the others looked up to him. His life has been changed under the hardest circumstances. No matter how hard things get here, there is always hope. I have a God who WANTS children to come to Him. He cares for them with kind words and says their faith is all you need. Anton has hope in His Savior and Him alone, because there is no hope anywhere else. Anywhere else comes with pain and sorrow. And even though it may not be easy, that hope keeps him going. It is not always peachy living for Christ. It was never meant to be. But because He IS the HOPE of glory, life is worth living.
Saturday (Nairobi)
Home. Where everything is at my fingertips. Where life is no longer simple. Where extravagance reigns. I don’t know if I’m ready. I thought I was, but apparently I’m not. Today, we stopped on the way to Nairobi as a Naku-Matt for water for the team. Well this one was part of a mall. I walked in, not prepared for what my eyes were about to see. It was like I was in Times Square looking around. Everything around me was so modernized, extravagant and commercialized. My heart started beating fast, and I was not able to take it all in. I have been living in the dirt and grime of Kenya for so long that I was shocked to see the extravagance that surrounded me. In Naku-Matt, I started feeling claustrophobic. I was almost brought to me knees in the middle of a Kenyan supermarket. Everywhere I looked, all I could see was a malnourished child searching the dump for food or the lifeless face of someone dying of curable diseases. How is this modernized mall of toilet money so active of rich white people when people all around me everywhere I’ve been the last 7 weeks have been suffering. Can’t this money go to something better? We have GOT to stop living in complete and utter extravagance when all around the world, people are suffering. We’re Americans and it’s nature to have “more.” But extravagance is ridiculous. I can’t even begin to count the amount of t-shirts in my dresser. I shudder to think about it as I see the torn up shirt of a kid i met in Kisii. We don’t NEED anything. WE NEED JESUS. He is IT! He provides what we need. Extravagance is not the answer. HE IS.
Monday (En Route to Memphis)
I have arrived on U.S. soil and am back in the air again. It’s extremely bittersweet. These past 7 weeks of my life have been some of the most rewarding ever. I LIVED in Africa. I ate the food. I worked the job. I lived simply. Life was different. Every day, I gave it all and came home exhausted. I missed home. I got tired. I got sick. I got angry. I got frustrated. I got upset. I dealt with a lot. My mind is still processing what I’ve seen and heard. But through every experience, every emotion, every hardship and happiness, god would teach me. He would guide me. And I learned lesson after lesson. That God was all I need. That He is working. That He changes lives. That He performs miracles. He and ONLY He. I miss my buddies so much. I see their smiling faces. I hear their contagious laughs. I see where they hurt. And tears fill my eyes because I just want to be with them. To hold a hand. To give a high five or a fist bump. To hug. To dance. To kick a soccer ball. To chase around. I wish so bad I was there. But I’m not. And that’s hard. These kid are my friends, some my best friends. I know their emotions. And I love them. A love that goes past superficial barriers. To look past a crushed leg showing signs of sexual abuse. To look past mental problems. To look past scars of abuse. But to see them for who they really are. And that is only through what they have taught me and what God has taught me. My heart hurts. It wants home, but it wants them so much more. So now what? How do I go back to American life? What can I change based on what I’ve seen? I can’t even pick up the magazine in the seat pocket in front of me because it disgusts me. I don’t even want to talk about the tv. I see food everywhere, but I see a kid searching the dump for a scrap. I see money, but I see the mud homes of my friends and trash everywhere. I see medicine, but I see the yellowed eyes of people ridden with malaria. I hear so much ignorance from the mouths of Americans. Is this really the life of opportunity? Because if it it, we’ve wasted it. On ourselves. Being an American comes with lavish wealth. But if he hoard that wealth and spend it on things that mean nothing, then we’ve squandered God’s purpose for our lives. He told us to GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES. As you are going. Not necessarily to Africa or anywhere on a plane. But in some way, give your life away for others. This is the Christian life, NOT the American dream. This is the will of my Father. So I give my life away. It won’t be the same. I don’t know how I’ll deal with the extravagance of home. I know frustration and angriness will come. How do these two worlds collide? How do I reconcile these clashing life to a compromise? I really don’t have an answer. I have seen things that are indescribable. Things that haunt me. Things I don’t think I’ll ever really process fully. People may not understand. Adjusting is not going to be easy. But that’s ok. Because God has a mission for me. To work hard in becoming a doctor so I can one day really help them. Some of the hardest days stand before me as I’m re-immersed into American life. As I choose how to let this experience affect me. But He’ll be there guiding me. He can do it all. It is He alone. He gave me this experience. I don’t deserve it. He does it through Christ in me, the hope of glory. So I continue my adventure. He has so much more to teach me. And I’m ready. Because this is not the end, or even the middle. This is only the beginning. Bwana Safiwe (Praise the Lord)!
Thanks for reading these updates. Hearing your encouragement has been awesome. Africa has my heart. Keep praying for these beautiful people. Barakiwe (Be Blessed)!
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