Monday
Today in Class 3, I told the kids that this was my last week
to teach. Later at the orphanage, Delmas
came up to me and said “I’m sad.” “Why
are you sad?” “You’re going to America
too soon. I won’t let you go.” At all of this, my heart kind of sunk a
little bit. I literally have 7 more days
in Kitale. Seven more days with these
new friends of mine. How can I say
goodbye? How can I give a thousand hugs
and tell them how much I love them? How
do I begin to share what these people have taught me and meant to me? I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. My heart yearns to stay. These kids mean so much. There is no way I can write in words what
they mean to me. I will leave Kitale in
a few days, but not all of me will leave.
I will leave a huge part of me behind.
I will leave part of my heart.
And I will be different. I will
be changed. I will leave with a fresh
dose of the Lord’s grace and blessing, having learned some of the hardest, most
rewarding lessons ever. I never want to
be the same. I want this to affect my
whole life. I don’t want this experience
to be “that one time in Kenya.” I don’t
want my lessons left here. That would be
a complete waste of 7 weeks. I want to
have the same kind of love I’ve been shown.
I want to be a blessing to others.
My mission does not end in 2 weeks.
This is only the beginning. My
worldview has been so altered that I’ll never be the same. My mission is based solely on where God has
me at the moment. How beautiful are the
feet of those who bring good news. Now I
can’t say that my always dirty, chaco-tanned feet are all that beautiful. But it does mean that wherever I go, I am
Christ. He is in me. And I follow His call. Wherever He leads I’ll go. Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall
be til I die!
Wednesday
Not a day goes by without me being completely reminded of
the depravity around me. But my God
heals. He makes broken things
whole. But sometimes He chooses to tear
to heal. And He WILL do His Will. Just because some of my friends live in
poverty doesn’t mean they’re poor. Sure,
in money terms they are. But they are
rich in grace, thankfulness, mercy, kindness, and worship. More than we could ever fully
understand. But I still fight the
hunger, sickness, and fear with the love of God. It’s all I can do. Poverty is real. The end is getting near, but I still have a
few days. To work as hard as
possible. To finish empty.
Friday
Let me tell you the story of Sunday. Sunday comes from inside the heart of the
slum. He comes to school and eats the
only food he gets for the entire day.
But during the weekend, he has nothing to eat. And sometimes, if he can make it, he walks to
June’s house for food during the weekend.
Sunday is just the poster card for so many of these kids. Who have literally nothing. Who would be starving without the school. Who still starve on the weekend. Right now, people all around me are
starving. How do I deal with this? I’ve been around it for 6 weeks and it still
doesn’t get any easier. This is right on
my doorstep. And Sunday’s story is like
those I hear all the time. It’s like
I’m used to the fact I’m working in a
slum. But I can’t even come close to
what life is really like for these kids.
I see from the outside. They live
it. So I give all, and Christ works
through me. Because I AM working in a
slum and AM a light for these kids. He
wants all of me. Not a half, not three
quarters (yeah, I’ve been teaching too much math). He wants it all. He is to be obeyed wholeheartedly. He wants my fears, my failures, my faults, my
successes. He wants it all. I want my heart to look like His heart.
“You won’t relent until you have it all; my heart is Yours”
Sunday
Tomorrow I say goodbye to this awesome place. My heart hurts just to think about it. I love these kids with all of my being. They mean more to me than I can ever explain.
The past six weeks in Kitale have been a
whirlwind of emotions. And through it
all, God has been right there by my side. When I can’t take another step, when my eyes
can see no more, when my ears can hear no more, when I am overwhelmed, it is
there that He has carried me. When my
mind can’t comprehend or process the things my eyes have seen and when my heart
screams from the inside, it is there that I have rested in Him. When I am exhausted, dirty, sick, frustrated,
joyful, angry, laughing, and smiling, it is there that He leads me to follow
after His heart. I’m human. And no matter how much I won’t admit it, I’m
a pretty emotional guy. I left the U.S.
6 weeks ago ready to learn. But the
Africa I have experienced is different than what I was used to. I was used to only the smiling faces and
happiness. And even though this is still
Africa, there was another Africa I was yet to experience. Where ministry is not always easy. Where it is hard and sometimes dangerous. Things you don’t experience short term. But things that are real. Where you watch your friends walk home to a
place of abandonment and abuse. But
through this, I have learned so much.
Ministry is not supposed to be easy.
We were never promised it would be. In fact, we were promised the opposite. But it is SO worth it. To see the smiling faces as a picture of God’s
love. I hold the hands of the orphanage
kids and am amazed at God’s grace. Stories
of hope and change. It is so worth
it. And the fact that I get to join in
on this journey leaves me absolutely speechless. Kitale has become home. The lessons I’ve learned will last forever. And I’m never going to be the same. I am not ready to leave, but just like
Nehemiah, I must finish the work and then return home to still work for these
friends of mine. They deserve it. These past 6 weeks have, as I’ve said before,
truly been the adventure of a lifetime.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying. Your prayers keep me going. My time here has changed me so much. God continues to teach me everyday. He is changing lives. As always, I miss and love all of you! In all you do, serve Christ. HE is ALL you need.
-Sam
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